I confiscated my teenage daughter’s cellphone last night 

By Samantha Foster

Enough said!

My Evil Teen

My daughter thought she was so sly. Instead of handing me the phone, she plugged it into the wall, and stood by the wall pretending to be busy with something. You gotta be kidding me! I thought, where is the damn phone? I asked her again, and told her she will not get it back for a week. Nope. Not with that nasty attitude and hopeless addiction with texting she isn’t. Just to be clear, I punished her for her bad attitude not because I expected her to be nice when I was taking her phone away, but for her arrogance when I tried to show her the correct techniques to play Titanic. I knew, and I told her, that she was not accepting my teaching because I was not her teacher. I told her though, it sometimes wouldn’t matter who is teaching her.

Of course that was useless.

Yes, I GET SHE’S A TEEN!

She is a teen. She’s supposed to be addicted to bad attitude and texting…just like I was addicted to bad attitude and chatting on the phone when I was a teen. I didn’t turn out so bad. But that’s not the point. I’m the parent, and it’s my responsibility to make sure there are consequences if she wastes her life (and money) away on useless activities. Despite countless lectures in the past about being responsible and utilizing time as a personal investment, none of it worked, because she is a teen. I get that. Even adults make the same mistakes sometimes. But I can still take the phone away, which is probably the only way to calm her mind from all the silent chattering on her text phone.

Texting is an epidemic. It’s a mental addiction if done excessively.

What Goes Through A Mom’s Head?

Teens don’t have the ability to expand their understanding beyond the “me-me-me” mentality. For that, we did all we could to explain our position as parents, and why certain things are said or done. We ensured she knew we didn’t punish her just to spite her, but every time we lay out a punishment, she thinks we do it just to spite her. Believe me, sometimes I get so annoyed with her behaviors I want to play pranks on her. But that would make me the immature one.

I need to uphold my mature-adult image. So what if she’s already taller than me? By the way, speaking of height, I get a lot (maybe 10x a day) of comments (I’m sure they were all compliments) from people and my daughter that I am shorter than her, or vice versa. I guess i will be hearing that for the rest of my life unless I can find a bottle of “drink me”. Anyway, I once got mad at her procrastination (what else is new?) and told her if she always claimed she’s taller than me, why didn’t she make herself useful with all that extra height and help around with household chores? I believed that was the last time I heard her boast about her 5’2″ frame. But I digress…

The World of the Rifleman Is Gone

A lot of parents have trouble sticking to a punishment for more than a few hours. That’s bad parenting, and my husband and I have gone down that road because it just is easier. After all, who doesn’t want a harmonious family? The quickest way to achieve harmony is to do whatever it takes for everyone to get along. But the problem is, if we leave kids to themselves so they feel they’re “in harmony” with the rest of the family, we fail as parents, whose job is to guide and execute unwritten rules, on top of providing shelter and money to fund their texting habits and send them to expensive summer camps. The truth is, we make it too easy for our kids, and in my opinion, that is the #1 reason why kids today are not like kids from 20-100 years ago – humble and hard-working (kind of like little Mark in The Rifleman). Today, the kids feel a sense of superiority over their parents, and a strong sense of entitlement. I don’t blame them though. After all, we the parents willingly put up the money to buy happiness (and peace of mind for us parents) for our kids since the day they were born, so that is what the kids are comfortable with. When the parents make the kids leave their comfort zones for their own good, we become the evil-doers.

Maybe I should tell her I feel betrayed – just to spite her 😉

A Mom’s Tips To A Happier Life

I usually just tell my daughter whenever she’s unhappy with the ways things turn out, “You’re 100% responsible for yourself and the way you feel about all that’s happening right now. You don’t like it? Do something about it. Nobody can make you happy except yourself.”

This morning before she left my car, I told my cellphone-less daughter, “The way you feel right now will most certainly affect the way you listen to lectures today, and you’re responsible for the way you feel (again). So between getting out of the car and entering the school’s front door, you may want to change up your attitude a bit so you actually understand what the teachers will be teaching you, plus you wouldn’t be bitchy with your friends.”

Parenting is a lot more than just confiscating a cell phone, it also involves licking all the sugar-coating so our kids get to see what’s underneath.

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